Facing a lion and Blueberry upside down cake

Have you ever feared something so great that all the blood rushed from your head and the breath left your lungs? 

I don't mean fear like if you're caught in an armed hold up or running from a hungry lion. I mean what others could judge as being unfathomable fear: the fear of public speaking, the fear of driving a car, the fear of great heights or the fear of tiny spiders. 

Do you think our brain knows the difference between the fear of running for your life from a lion or running from a spider? Ask a person paralysed by spiders, who is unable to utter a single word or move a muscle while that spider is 'hunting' them down. Do they think their fear is any less than the person paralysed by a would be lion attack? Fear is fear after all, is it not?

This week I have been going through my own unfathomable fear, and it's caused me to lash out at those very people trying to help me. It's also left me in a dark pit of despair and shaken me to my very core.

What could this great fear be?

My doctor says I need to go back to work.

Doesn't sound like much, does it? But to me, hearing those words sent me into fight or flight. First, I fought those attacking words with my own attacking words on why I'm not ready to go into a workplace after an almost 12 month hiatus. Then I went into flight response and simply became mute while my doctor talked to me about the importance of this next step in my recovery process. I responded with no eye contact and no words. What could I say, after all?

For all my brain knew someone could have been threatening my life. Our brains are smart, but they aren't that smart to work out the variances in fear. My brain was telling me this woman was threatening my life. How was I to work when my concentration can't even get through a page in a book? How was I to fit into a workplace for a whole day when spending a few hours with dear loved ones exhausts me? What work am I going to do? I can't do what I've been doing for the last 16 years because it's too stressful. Where do I go? What do I do? How do I do it? How will I cope? The lion had caught me and I was awaiting the final death blow.

It's been a few days now since this experience. Slowly I'm coming back out of my darkness. Slowly the fear is ebbing away. Slowly.

You see very little rational thinking can be done when you're in a state of fear. Does this excuse my behaviour? No, I don't think it does. What it does mean is I have to learn more tools to control that fear. I have to work with my support team by admitting I'm scared and that we need to work on some coping strategies. Most of all I need to not let this lion beat me, but to learn to run with it instead.

Today I'm dusting myself off and getting my apron back on. It's my dear old uni friend's birthday and she deserves the very biggest of smiles from me PLUS a birthday cake. A blueberry upside down cake should do the trick for a very upside down kind of week.

Blueberry upside down cake
Adapted from Thibeault's Table

Blueberry upside down cake

Ingredients
60g melted butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 cups blueberries (fresh or Frozen)
1 tablespoon lemon juice
125g butter
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla or vanilla bean paste
1 1/3 cups plain flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon (optional)
3/4 cup milk

Method
In a 20cm diameter round cake tin, combine melted butter and brown sugar. Spread evenly on bottom of tin. Spread blueberries evenly over top. Sprinkle with lemon juice.

Cream butter and sugar, beating until light. Beat in egg and vanilla. Mix together flour, baking powder, and cinnamon if using. Add dry ingredients alternately with milk to creamed mixture. Spread batter evenly over blueberry layer.

Bake in 180°C oven for 45 to 50 minutes or until toothpick inserted in centre comes out clean. Let cool 10 minutes in pan, then turn out onto large flat plate.

SRKitchen on tour - French onion soup, beef cheeks and strawberry mousse

Join me while I give you my account of how I prepare to take The Self-Raising Kitchen 'on tour' and cook for a party of seven.

A work colleague turned awesome friend Tracy (@gadgetgirltracy) and her rockin' partner Angela (@nerfenstein), saw my previous SRKitchen 'on tour' post and wanted to know how to get in on the action. You see the rules are simple, you pay for the ingredients, I cook for you and a group friends/family/other(?) of your choosing in your house. Easy!

Once a date was set (or a second date in our case) planning started and I was looking forward to a cooking tour to the Gold Coast.

Wednesday, 22 August
I complete menu discussions with Tracy and we decide on:

Entree

French onion soup with gruyère bread

Mains

Slow cooked beef cheeks with soft polenta and greens

Dessert

Strawberry mousse with Persian fairy floss (ok, she didn't know about the fairy floss)

Friday, 24 August
5.00pm: The official work week has finished so it's time to get my cook's hat on. I'm off to search for Persian fairy floss and ingredients for the strawberry mousse so I can make it first think in the morning.

Thanks to the awesome world of twitter (@TIFFINbitesized @nataschamirosch @Fridayology @digellabakes @thewordonfood @trisharoe1) I found lots of places in Brisbane selling Persian Fairy Floss. I purchased mine at Greenslopes IGA. The other suggestions were: Rosalie markets, Black Pearl Epicure, Zone Fresh at Windsor, Delicatezza at Michelton and Sourced Grocer at Teneriffe. I'm sure there are plenty more.

THE DAY Saturday, 25 August
8.45am: Coffee is made. Thanks, beloved. An essential element to the day.

9.00am: Strawberries being pureed and the mousse making has started.

Strawberries, lemon juice and sugar blitzed in the food processor

9.30am: Mousse completed and in the fridge to set.

Strawberry mousse ready to set in the fridge. If you are looking
for this recipe I used this one from the Easy French Food blog.
Would I use it again? I most certainly would.

9.50am: Time to make my shopping list.

You see this was one of my more calmer and saner meal plans so I was pretty relaxed about getting everything done, even though I had to drive to the Gold Coast (although it is only 40 mins from my house). 

10.20am: I'm in the car and off to my local fruit shop, butcher and supermarket.

11.20am: DISASTER has struck! My butcher has 12 beef cheeks (which is enough for about 3 'on tour' meals) but they are FROZEN. I will not use the microwave to defrost as it ruins the quality and taste of the meat, in my opinion. So it is time for a luke warm bath for my cheeky bits of beef.

Got frozen meat and don't want to use the microwave?
Leave the meat in a luke warm tub of water. Keep checking
the water and replacing it if it turns cold.

12.00pm: still waiting, waiting, waiting for my cheeks.

12.14pm: another coffee is made.

12.30pm: Preparing to slice onions in food processor to save my eyes.

There is something about me and onions. We are not friends. I love eating them and using them in my cooking, but when is comes to cutting them I cry like a five year old who just had her ice cream full off the cone and onto the footpath. I can even be sitting in another room of someone cutting onions, crying.

12.50pm: time to pack the car. Beef cheeks have defrosted enough. Woo hoo!

The load heading to the Gold Coast. Please take special note of
the casserole dish in the right corner of this photo and read on.

1.16pm: I'm on the road and hoping like crazy that everything makes it in one piece.

1.59pm: Made it! Now it's time to give hugs and kisses to my two beautiful hosts, get unpacked and get started.

But first, check out my view from the kitchen.

Tracy and Angela have a spectacular house on a canal, Gold Coast.

And my office for the afternoon. Bliss!

Tracy and Angela's beautiful kitchen that I've already managed to mess up.

2.30pm: Cooking needs to start. The beef cheeks need at least 3 hours to cook. I'm planning on entree to be served at 6.30, and mains about 7pm. Therefore I want the beef cheeks in the oven by 4pm at the latest to give me 30 mins gap.

2.55pm: Chopping of onion, garlic, herbs etc done, now to brown meat. CRAP I've left my casserole dish at home. Do you remember in the photo the red dish in the corner of the photo? Yes, well it hasn't moved from that location. Oh well, I have another pot that can go in the oven that will have to do.

3.25pm: beef cheeks are ready for the oven. Perfect timing and I've given myself some great wriggle room if the cheeks aren't tender enough by 6pm.

If you are looking for the beef cheeks recipe I used please go here.

Beef cheeks in stock, red wine and herbs ready for a 3 hour stint in the oven.

Time to start the soup.

There's nothing better than the smell of butter and onions cooking. With this recipe you get to fill your house with this smell for a good 30 minutes while you caramelise the onions for the soup.

Caramelising onions for the delicious French onion soup.

I discovered later in the evening, somewhere around dessert, that one of our guests hates onions. Excellent, and here I am offering onion soup! I was assured that she loved the soup, however.

See below for the recipe to this one by the iconic Delia Smith.

4.00pm: I have enough time to gossip with my hosts.

5.30pm: Time to get serious as the first guest, Tracy's mum, arrives. I need to start prepping the beans and broccoli. I want to get these part cooked in boiling water and then place them in ice water so later on all I need to do is fry them with a little butter to heat them up before serving. I'm also getting the french stick sliced and gruyere cheese grated ready for grilling. These will go in the bowls for the soup.

6.15pm: I check the cheeks and I'm very excited as they are just falling apart, as planned, of course. At this point I leave the pot out of the oven until I serve as it will stay hot for a while. Time to free up the oven so I can grill the cheesy bread for the soup.

6:40pm: All guests have arrived. It's time to plate up the entree.

I pour the soup in a terrine that sits in the middle of the table for people
to help themselves. If they like, they can then easily dig in for seconds.

I give each person a bowl with a grilled gruyere cheese
crouton on top. The soup is then ladled on top ready for devouring.

6.50pm: My guests seem to be happily consuming the soup so I focus my efforts on making the polenta with grated parmesan and butter, and frying off the beans and broccoli.

7:30pm: Mains are ready.

Slow cooked beef cheeks with polenta

Looking back, I would have thickened the gravy the cheeks cooked in. Last time I made this dish I was working with a crap oven that used to suck the life (ie juices) out of everything so was left with very little gravy. However, with Tracy and Angela's awesome oven the cheeks quite happily cooked in plenty of juices. It would have been nice to have this thickened a little with some cornflour. I know for next time.

About 8.30pm: Sorry, I started loosing track of time around this point. Time for dessert.

Strawberry mousse topped with Persian vanilla fairy floss.

The evening for me drew to a close just before 9.30pm. I had the car repacked and had even scored a special gift from Tracy and Angela. They very generously bought me a voucher for an Indian cooking class and a strawberry plant. No doubt you will be hearing about the cooking class soon and getting a few recipes as well.

I had such a wonderful night with my hosts and their family. I love cooking for my own loved ones, but it felt extra special being invited into Tracy and Angela's home to cook for their family when I had never met any of them before.

My seven beautiful guests that allowed me to cook for them.

So to the seven wonderful guests who humoured me on Saturday evening, and sat down to eat a meal from a self-trained cook and person they had never met, I thank you so very much. We had a laugh, some very good belly laughs actually, and that is exactly what family and food should be about.

I love this shot. Great family fun!

French onion soup
By Delia Smith

Ingredients

700g onions, thinly sliced

2 tbls olive oil

50g butter

2 cloves garlic,crushed

½ level teaspoongranulated sugar

1.2 litres good beefstock

275 ml dry white wine

2 tbls Brandy

salt and pepper

To serve:

French bread or baguette, cut into 1 inch (2.5 cm)

Gruyère, grated

  

Method

In a large thick-based saucepan heat the butter and oiltogether. Add the onions, garlic and sugar, and cook over a low heat, stirringoccasionally, for about 30 minutes or until the bottom of the pan is coveredwith nutty brown, caramelised film. (This browning process improves both thecolour and flavour.)

Next add the stock and white wine, bring to the boil andsimmer, covered, over a low heat for about 1 hour. Season to taste and, if youfeel in need of something extra warming, add 1-2 tablespoons of brandy.

SRKitchen version: When I’m ready to serve I grill the breadwith the grated gruyère in the oven. If you prefer crunchier (and proper)croutons, drizzle olive oil over the bread and bake in a high oven for about 10mins, or until brown.

Place the croutons in each bowl and either you ladle the soupinto each bowl or put it in a lovely terrine and let your guests dig in and serve themselves.

Cooking for a crowd and chocolate mousse

I get a warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach when I can provide loved ones with a tasty meal. You see, I'm slack most of the time. I'm terrible at keeping in touch with friends, my housekeeping skills are appalling, my organisational skills are 'interesting', my financial prowess is non-existant, but, I can cook. And, I think most importantly, I love it!

So when a dear friend of mine and my beloved invited us to a little soiree at his apartment for his birthday, I jumped at the chance to cook for his guests.

Dupree, as he likes to call himself and which I blogged about here, or as he is more widely known, Jamie, provides a great deal of support and friendship to my beloved, so the way I know how to show gratitude for this friendship is to cook.

And cook I did. For 25 people in fact. Arghhhhhh! This was honestly the most challenging cooking experience I've had to date. But I took the bull by the horns, got my organisational skills polished, got my head focused and did it.

The menu consisted of:

Asian style pork meatballs (GF)

Beef Rendang (GF)

Chilli con carne (GF)

Chicken and prawn wontons

Chocolate mousse shots with a blueberry flower on top (GF)

A number of the guests at the party were gluten intolerant, so after a little recipe tweaking, they were easy to accommodate and able to partake in all that I made, apart from the wontons.

As you can see from the food it was a carnivore's paradise. 

I used 3kg beef mince, 3kg chuck steak, 1.5kg chicken,
1kg pork mince, 8 chorizos, and 200g prawns

If you would like to cook up your own party storm here are some links:

• Asian pork meatballs - I used this recipe from taste.com.au. To make it GF substitute the plain flour for GF breadcrumbs (in a food processor finely chop stale GF bread to make this), and ensure you use GF soy and oyster sauce (both are easily available in supermarkets).
• Beef rendang - I used this recipe from Gourmet Traveller. I substituted the beef oyster blade with chuck steak (just make sure you give it plenty of time to cook so it is tender) and if you can't find galangal, replace it with ginger.
• Chilli con carne - I used this fabulous recipe from an awesome site called The Self-Raising Kitchen. 
• Chicken and prawn wontons - I'm afraid you will have to wait for another post on this one, as it is a secret recipe from my brother-in-law.
• Chocolate mousse - I am going to share the recipe with you below. It is from the Edmonds Cookery Book. If you are from New Zealand you will recognise the name. Basically, every Kiwi household owns this fabulous book, which was first published in 1908 and gives you simple, everyday recipes and cooking tips. My dad is a Kiwi, hence why my whole family are proud owners of this great book. In fact my mum's Edmonds book would be about 40 years old now and is well loved. I hope you enjoy this very simple and very yummy chocolate mousse recipe.

Chocolate Mousse

by Edmonds Cookery Book

serves 4-6

Deliciously light and fluffy chocolate mousse

Ingredients

150g cooking chocolate (I use dark)

4 eggs, separated

300ml cream

2tbls sugar

grated chocolate

blueberries

Method
Break chocolate into the top of a double boiler, Stir over hot water (not too hot or you will ruin your chocolate) until chocolate has melted. Allow to cool slightly. Stir yolks into chocolate. Beat until thick and smooth.

Beat cream until think. Quickly fold chocolate mixture into cream.

Whisk egg whites until stiff but not dry. Gradually add sugar, whisking until think and glossy.

Fold half egg white mixture into chocolate mixture until well mixed. Repeat with remaining egg white mixture. Pour into your individual ramekins or one large one or shot glasses as I used for a cocktail dinner. Decorate with grated chocolate and some extra whipped cream, or simply cut a blueberry into quarters, but not to the very bottom, and open it out to look like a flower like I've done.

*Tip - I used my food processor, blender and hand blender to do all the different steps so you can get it done quickly and don't have to waste time washing in between steps. Whatever you do, if you choose to only use one blender, don't leave your egg whites sitting around. They will separate and you will have watery stuff left at the bottom. Also, when you are folding the egg whites into the chocolate mixture, be gentle, as you want your mousse to be lovely and light so don't knock the good work you put into it when whisking.

Enjoy!

Dreams, cheesecake filled strawberries and ricotta zucchini rolls

When a dream becomes reality, these tasty finger delights are a must to help you celebrate.

Cheesecake filled strawberries

We've all had dreams, and I'm sure many of you have even had some of them come true. Often the bigger the dream the harder we have to work to see them grace the light of day.

Recently I was very proud to witness a dream become a reality for my dear friend Sonia and her husband Ian. And it was fantastic!

First, let's turn the clock back to 2003. Sonia and Ian purchased an old (and I mean old) Queensland cottage in Paddington, Brisbane, to turn it into their dream home. Now I remember this 'old' house. I would happily liken it to a block of swiss cheese; especially when I had the pleasure of sleeping in it one winter thinking I was going to wake up in the morning with hypothermia. You think I'm being dramatic...but I tell you the truth.

Over the years I have watched Sonia and Ian slowly, patiently - and sometimes not so patiently -renovate this house into a beautiful, cosy, blissfully warm home.

All those that have renovated, or those that have had the pleasure of hiring trades people, will understand the stress, frustration and expense you are confronted with when dealing with people you do not know, about a subject matter that you do not know, and about things, that frankly, you also do not know. Or is that just me?

Here enters reviewatradie.com.au. This brain child has been 12 months in the making and will benefit all of us in Australia to provide us access to reviews about tradies and also allow us to write those reviews ourselves.

Looking for a plumber? Check out reviewatradie.com.au

Looking for a carpenter? Check out reviewatradie.com.au

Now please remember this is in early stages so Sonia and Ian need your help. If you have a tradie that you think is fantastic and would like everyone in your area to know about them then jump on to the site and write a review. The more people who do this, the more we give those good people some work.

So where's the food in all of this? Well, I got to make a couple of tasty treats for Sonia and Ian's big launch afternoon tea that I have just had to share with you. They are simple, delightful and positively scrump-diddly-umptious. I made cheesecake filled strawberries and ricotta zucchini rolls. Both were thanks to my new found addiction to pinterest.

Ricotta zucchini rolls
Adapted from Apple pie, patis and pates blog

makes approximately 24 zucchini rolls

Ricotta zucchini rolls

Ingredients

4 small zucchinis

salt and pepper

extra virgin olive oil

For the ricotta filling:

ricotta cheese, about a cup

juice from about half a lemon

mint leaves, about a handful (the original recipe uses basil)

roasted slivered almonds, about a handful

Method

This is one of those recipes where exact measurements do not matter. Add more or less of anything that is to your liking.

Cut off the stem end of the zucchini. Using a mandolin or a vegetable peeler, slice the zucchini lengthwise into thin strips.

Season with salt, pepper, and olive oil. Leave to marinate in the refrigerator for at least 20 minutes. The zucchini strips will be more translucent and pliable after resting.

Zucchini strips marinating in extra virgin olive oil.

Mix the ricotta cheese with the lemon juice. Season with salt and mix vigorously until thoroughly incorporated.

Finely chop the mint leaves. Add the mint and almonds to the ricotta mixture and mix until evenly distributed.

Fresh ricotta mixture

Place about 1 tablespoon of the ricotta filling on the cut end of the zucchini strips.

Roll the zucchini strip over the filling and plate.

So easy and healthy: Ricotta zucchini rolls.

Cheesecake filled strawberries
Adapted from The Sweets Life blog

Tasty little morsels of cheesecake filled strawberries

Ingredients

4 punnets of strawberries, washed and top cut

125g cream cheese, softened (or spreadable)

1 tbsp caster sugar (to taste. Add more if you want a sweeter mixture)

½ tsp vanilla extract

zest of one small lemon

about 5 crushed biscuits of any sort. I just used a honey oat biscuit.

Method

Prep all strawberries and set aside.

In a food processor, blend cream cheese, caster sugar, vanilla and lemon zest until creamy. Add a little cream or milk, as I had to, to get a smooth enough consistency to get through a piping bag.

Cheesecake mixture piped on to strawberries

 Add cream cheese mix to a piping bag or a freezer bag with the corner snipped off. Pipe mixture onto strawberries. Dip the top in your biscuit crumbs. If not serving immediately, refrigerate until serving.

Dipping the cheesecake filled strawberries into the cookie crumbs

Cheesecake filled strawberries - they look good enough to eat!

Wishing you all happy cooking adventures!